About Me to You

The truth is we can never objectively come to a conclusion on who we are and nor can anyone else because to them we are not a whole person who has lived a full life but fragments of memories that they may or may not remember correctly. So there you have it. The existential but frustrating angst of knowing that we will never be able to connect with a person on a deeper level ever. So the question is who am I. My answer is before a minute i was writing this... 

Statement of Purpose

when words collide 

the worlds that they decide

in them those fates that reside

If not then what is life beside

.

The universe didn’t begin with a big bang. it

began with a thought. It was always about the observer and I always try to be an unreasonable

observer, and so I have, therefore achieved things that people thought improbable and at times

impossible. The very dissaproval and the general sense of something couldn't be done because of so and-so has always fueled my self-esteem.

“ A man who has stopped learning, was never really a student to begin with and will never become a

teacher” — Akshay Das.

pseudo-Soldier : too much war was few too many

I went to a war

The war went into me

To war I was sent to free

My kin, for them to be;

I slaughtered thy enemy

I returned to you, meine country

Now all means nothing to me

Like everything once meant to me

In fight. In sight,

Of their very purpose

As an emotional stimulus

Are over and dead to me, than those I killed

The impetus - righteousness, like it willed

Now the vacuum in me has been filled

With anger and tranquility; 

One forced the other fulfilled

Cogito ergo it's absurd,

Cathedral, le grande

They have build

Hence it makes no sense

The pretense - in it's absence

Intense appears life in an instance

Everything falls over another in resonance

All I can do is stare in the distance

While I self-reference

& Finish this sentence.

in zwei Tagen zurück Rap

It's 2020 and suddenly

I'm a g********** employee

I was broke, but not broken

I was woke, but hadn't spoken

I rested, then climbed the mountains

Interested, motivated, the mind trains

Tested, proven, I make my point

I pick up my memoir, it does paint

The pain, then again, the mistakes

That's what it takes

And now, it's like wow

At this age, no hereditary privilege

I pay in taxes, what you earn in months

Not a prey, I'm a hunter who hunts

And maybe I should stop braggin

But the truth is, them only plural fact

I been droppin the Gs, I leave you hangin

I'm on, Geez, I'm high but intact

I'm done, I'm one, I won,I won't stop.

Till I drop, I don't give up, and I'm gone.

Good about oneself

How do people feel good about themselves. I guess being stupid helps. When you are stupid enough to follow the rules without questioning them its much easier to be content and feel good about yourselves because you are taught to feel good about yourselves because you are being a good person that is you are being a model citizen who abides and lives by the rules. I wish I had been that person. But I'm glad I'm not I don’t wanna live like that. It’s pointless I guess. There is no point in living a life that you are supposed to. The only life worth living is the one you want to.

Fever. Rap, Emo, Blues

Fever, you're not gonna get me down
My wbc is gonna fight you till dawn
They gonna eat you zombie like it's nothing
And gonna remember this fight, we stronger
Just hold on tight, trust yourself a while longer
Shut your trap Fever, I gotta get things done
Cuz lying on a bed all day isn't fun
Fevers a dawg, gotta make it quick, rage
Not gonna help you, 42° that's brain damage
Relax bruh, we all gotta die someday
And decompose into food someday
For maggots, roaches and vermin's someday
Remains washes into sewer someday
And nobodies gonna remember you after that may day
Give it a few years, Oblivion finds a way
But this isn't a time to be flightless
I gotta fly like a motherfucking flight risk
Still have no money for aster med crib
Cuz Their room service bill cost my whole life
Or may be I should try cocaine
With LSD like Dr house and get this over with
Sorry father, I did drugs, (all losers think I'm filth)
And it wasn't from pharmacy or FDA approved
But I'm feeling better
Wont you pray for me, save my soul for me
From this hell I made for me, mother won't you forgive me

Ode to sorrow of tomorrow

I don't like describing myself
and I'm tired of explaining why
it's so much easier not to
because one day I too shall die
I don't want to talk about me
It's not like they would understand anyway
Tried young everyday, in everyway
No matter, how hard I try
Because it's everything like as  to deny
That one day I too shall die
And every day we wake up
here, nothing much to do about it
All we can do is cry, so don't
Tomorrows have nothing to say
Tomorrows are just hopeless
Tomorrow I will grow older
Tomorrow I will die